Frustration

Has a Family Court Judge in Ontario adopted through the current child welfare system? My response to that question is no. The judicial system can make adopting a child from the local Children's Aid Society a nightmare.

There are time lines set out in the Child Welfare Act that state when decisions should be made to prevent a child from living in foster care longer than necessary, but those guidelines mean nothing to the Family Court System.

Our daughter came home from the hospital under a temporary care and custody order in May of 2007. These orders expire after 30 days and should have been replaced by Society Wardship order that would have been granted at the Show Cause Hearing 7 days after her initial admission to care. The Show Cause Hearing never happened and after 7 adjournments was adjourned to a Settlement Conference because birth mom or her lawyer did not appear.

Settlement conferences are supposed to happen within 90 days of a child being apprehend and expidite the process of Crown Wardship. Again the settlement conference never happened and in August of 2008 (yes our daughter is now just over a year old) was finally adjourned to trail. A trial that won't happen until late April 2009 if we're lucky and a few days before her second birthday. Again the reason for the court delays were actions by the birth mom and her lawyer.

Since our daughter is under the age of six an application for her to become a Crown Ward occurred around her first birthday after she had been in care for a year, as required by the Child Welfare Act. Our daughter's birthmother hasn't seen her since December of 2007, but vecause she is entitled to her day in court she is fighting until the bitter end. Our daughter on the other hand had no way of making her voice heard and her future remained in limbo until September of 2009.

I am glad our daughter was young enough that she didn't necessarily understand what was going on.

As for granting openness to the Birthparents, this has its own set of challenges. Since birthmom was quiet for so long we don't feel any obligation to keep her apprised of our daughters progress. Digging in your heels just so you can tell your birth child if and when they contact you after they turn 18 that it wasn't your fault you had to give the child up, but the fault of Children's Aid doesn't put the child's needs or well-being anywhere near the forefront of the birthparents mind.

Our daughters adoption was finalized in December 2009 at the age of 2.5 years. We have agreed to send letters/pictures to birthdad, whom is no longer with birthmom as long as he sends something first.